3 Secrets to Discovering What You Want in Life

Mikaela Ian

I remember as a child always being asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. I used to say a hairdresser or a singer or a news anchor and then eventually a psychologist. I came pretty close to being a news anchor as I spent nine years of my life as a journalist. But throughout it all, I always wondered how I would figure out what I wanted to do with my life. How would I just know when I had all these ideas and tons of passions.

Two and a half years ago, I decided I wanted to have some part of online business so I dabbled in food blogging, lifestyle blogging, green skincare and then eventually settled on helping women confidently market their business. But it didn’t feel right to me even though I was making money from it. It felt small. It felt safe. So I set out to discover what I wanted to do with my life and the findings truly terrified me. I realized I was meant to teach women how to unleash their inner confidence to create these incredible lives. But how did I get there?! Today I’ll be sharing with you three secrets to discovering what you want in life.

Secret #1: Ask those closest to you what you’re really good at

So this may sound strange to ask people what you’re good at, but I promise you it’s super helpful. As women, we are taught not to pay ourselves on the back and to quietly accept

compliments. In order to discover what you want in life, you’ve got to put that bashful crap to the side and allow people to pour praise into you.

If you aren’t super comfortable asking people what you’re good at, you can ask them what word comes to mind when they think of you. I did this right before I pivoted my business to ensure I was on the right track and sure enough, 50% of those who participated said “confident” is the word they think of in relation to me.

Let your people give you excellent feedback and jot it all down in a notebook, a word doc of in a note on your phone. Try to ask at least ten people so that you have a variety of responses.

Secret #2: Brainstorm a list of your skills, your passions and what you enjoy doing

There’s nothing quite like writing out a list to get clarity. Anytime I’m unclear about a decision I need to make, I write out a life to get the clarity I need. As you’re trying to figure out what you want in life, writing lists will be super helpful.

Start with you skill set or anything that sets you apart. Take the time to write down what you’re really good at. Then write down a list of your passions, the things that really light you up. Finally, write down things you enjoy doing that may not necessarily be your passions. Each of these lists will help you get closer to the clarity you’re looking for.

Secret #3: Write down at least five things that make you angry in the world and five things that make you happy 

My coach had me do this exercise and it was then that I realized I had been playing small and staying in my comfort zone. One thing that makes me angry is mediocrity and people who don’t live up to their full potential. I then realized I can help woman step outside of their comfort zone to live life unapologetically.

I challenge you to do this exercise as well. It may seem a bit strange to write a list of things that make you angry, but that’s where you’ll find what you’re truly passionate about. And then by writing things that make you happy, you’ll be able to find the clarity somewhere in the middle. This will take some time but trust the process so that you can discover what you actually want in life.

I don’t view this process as easy, but it’s pretty simple once you get started. Like I said, it will take time to get that clarity so that you can discover what you want in life, but in the end, it’s so worth it. You’ll be able to build the self-confidence you need to live life without apology and embody the confident woman.

If you want guided support on figuring how to discover what lights you up, click here to see how we can work together.

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